


Overshadowing the Sun

by ReluctantMisaki



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, Medication, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24914227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantMisaki/pseuds/ReluctantMisaki
Summary: Kokoro Tsurumaki appears to be the happiest girl alive with her bright positivity but underneath is a story of her past and hidden angst
Relationships: Okusawa Misaki/Tsurumaki Kokoro
Comments: 5
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

Kokoro always seemed so happy. Wherever she was it seemed like the sun itself shined with her. Her band was known for bringing smiles far and wide and she had found wonderful friends in her bandmates.

But it was not always like that.

For most of her childhood she had been alone. Her parents were never around. At least, that was what she could remember of her parents. With her playing by herself day after day, the Suits became more like her parents than her actual parents. Through her loneliness, her imagination grew and invisible friends felt as real as any real person. It still wasn't the same, but for someone who had been alone all her life, she did not know any better.

She had met other children, but they were put off with her loud vibrant personality. It was almost as if no one could handle how bright she shined. Looking at her was like looking into the sun; too many looked away and ignored her very existence. Those that got close enough would get overwhelmed and abandon her. No matter the circumstances, all roads lead to solitude. 

Her parents had given instructions to the Suits to ensure Kokoro would be prepared to run the family business in the future. That included curtailing any behavior that would be deemed inappropriate within the professional community. For many of her childhood years, the Suits attempted to calm the young girl's bright enthusiasm. She was too loud, too energetic, too talkative. All were inappropriate behaviors for the serious professional life. 

They tried anything they could on her to curb her energy, whether it be calming teas, foods, or even psychological medication. It did nothing to change her natural demeanor but the marks left on her psyche scarred her beyond anything anyone could have imagined. How could someone feel truly loved when the few people around her kept attempting to change her? The constant isolation and pressure had left her mentally stunted, which is why she still had such a childish outlook and drew with crayons even at the age of 16. She definitely was not at the same mental wavelength as her peers. Eventually the Suits also gave up on attempting to change her, but the damage had been done.

Underneath her smile Kokoro was in pain. She was used to being alone, but it made her heart ache so badly. Sometimes it hurt so badly it felt like the air was knocked out of her. Loneliness permeated every aspect of her life. No matter how hard she tried to put on a brave face, how many times she sobbed quietly to herself at night, her imaginary friends could not replace genuine human interaction. 

She made it her life's goal to make everyone around her smile. At this point she was convinced she was meant to be alone. Maybe no one else could handle everything that made her who she is. She was tired of seeing everyone's disapproval across their faces. She was destined to take over the family business anyway, there was no time to be making childhood friends.

She looked up at the stars, thinking to herself. A shooting star crossed her view as she closed her eyes. "I want everyone to smile. I wish for everyone else to be happy, even if I can't be." 

She turned away from the sky, she could almost feel a wall forming around her. These negative emotions were too much for her. They threatened to pull her under into the darkest parts of herself. She walked over to her bed and cuddled a plush against her chest. She buried her face into the plush, letting it absorb the tears that tried to escape down her cheeks. No, she would never feel this way again. She would hold these feelings back behind that emotional wall. Sure, she realized she may never be truly happy, but if she could smile and make the world around her smile, then it didn't matter to her. She no longer had a need for these negative emotions. No one did. People barely tolerated her existence, maybe she would be accepted if she brought joy to everyone else. After all, no one liked her, and deep down she didn't even like herself. But she would do her best to smile. Smile and help others in hope they will never feel this pain. The tears dried as she drifted off to sleep against the plush. Sometimes the hardest thing for her to do was smile.

Since then, parts of herself appeared to be missing. It wasn't all the time, but sometimes it was like something was blocking her memories. She'd get a headache and feel sick. The feeling was usually gone as quickly as it arrived, so she ignored it. Kokoro didn't see it as a problem. It was just another adaptation she had made to tolerate her every day life. 

Kokoro was mentally younger than her actual age. Unfortunately this made it even harder for her to relate to her peers and further isolated herself from them. She still loved drawing with crayons and clearly had kept her childlike sense of wonder and imagination. In some aspects that can be seen as a positive, but it didn't help her in terms of making friends. 

The formation of Hello Happy World was a turning point for her. For the first time in her life, Kokoro had an actual group of friends. She was no longer ignored. Through the band she was able to release her imagination, much to the annoyance of the brown haired negative bandmate. Kokoro was always forgetting her name, the very thought of her negativity sent her mind into a dizzy blurr.

The band was sitting in the schools courtyard during lunch. Kokoro had picked up a drawing pad as the rest of the bandmates discussed the future show the next week. 

"We should have a lion at our next show!" Kokoro exclaimed excitedly as she drew the image on paper with crayons 

Misaki sighed and folded her arms across her chest, "Kokoro, we cannot have a dangerous predatory cat loose at our concert."

Kokoro jumped up and walked over to her. "Why not? It could make everyone smile! Everyone loves a lion!" she smiled brightly.

Misaki frowned, "Oh yes, I'm sure they love lions and would love to get eaten by them."

Kokoro tried to ignore her disapproving frown; it reminded her of something, something from the past. Something she could not completely remember. Everything was blank. It gave her a sick feeling in her stomach. Her chest hurt as she felt herself being pulled down into the dark abyss of herself.

"Kokoro?" Misaki had leaned in closer to Kokoro, arching her brow.

Kokoro snapped out of it and shook her head, grinning, "Then stuffed lions! Oh, I know! Michelle can dress as a lion!"

Misaki nodded, "Well, that is more reaso-"

"And jump through a ring of fire!" Kokoro danced around, amazed at her own idea.

Misaki's eyes widened, "No, no, no. Michelle is not doing that. She could catch on fire!" 

"Then it's settled! Michelle will be a lion and jump through a ring of fire!" She turned to her, "Michelle's friend...I can't remember your name. Could you please let her know?"

Misaki visibly grimaced, "How many times do I have to tell you, my name is Misaki." She sighed, "Fine, I'll let Michelle know."

Kokoro jumped around and started humming.

No, to Kokoro, all that mattered was everyone else's happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize I am not the best at writing, I wrote this from a prompt idea and based it on my own experiences and writings from my childhood diary since I cannot remember parts of my past. This was supposed to be a one shot but I may continue
> 
> Beta read by Elcall


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki is trying to write a new song using Kokoro's drawings and recorded hums only to notice Kokoro acting strange.

You know what was really hard for Kokoro? Being 17 years old and yet having no understanding of others feelings. She never meant to hurt anyone, she just didn’t understand. Aside from happiness, nothing else made sense to her. All other emotions just made her feel sick inside. Yet, she was curious about the impact of these other emotions had on herself and others.

Kokoro really enjoyed being a part of Hello Happy World. With the band she could bring smiles to so many people. Countless hospices, hospitals, and many more places felt brighter after a concert. She was used to playing by herself, but having others with her was a new feeling.

And she loved it.

Misaki and Kokoro were spending the day in the Tsurumaki mansion. Kokoro was sitting by the window in the dining room looking out as the sun shined through onto her face. She closed her eyes and breathed in; one of the few moments where she was truly calm. Misaki was sitting at the table close to her attempting to take Kokoros’ pages of drawings and random hums she had recorded and turn them into a song.

“If only you could come up with ideas in a more normal way,” Misaki muttered to herself, writing down some words that she figured were what Kokoro had meant.

Kokoro turned to look at Misaki, her eyes lighting up as she jumped from her seated spot and ran over. “MISAKI! MISAKI! HOW IS THE SONG GOING?” Her loud voice reverberated through the room. She happily jumped over to Misaki’s side to look down at the paper Misaki was working on. 

Misaki looked up at Kokoro, exasperated. “Is that really necessary? Could you please try to be calm while I finish thi-“ She stopped when she saw the look on Kokoro’s face.

Kokoro’s eyes ceased to shine as Misaki’s words struck her. She tried to avoid all negativity. Kokoro just didn’t understand it, it suddenly hit against something in her mind she couldn’t fathom. Something was blocking her. Something made her stop dead in her tracks with a huge headache and pain in her chest.

*****

“Let’s play Candy Land!” The psychiatrist, Takana-san, laid the box on top of the table in front of five year old Kokoro. It was Kokoro’s favorite game and she felt she was really good at it.

Kokoro picked out her favorite player piece and held in her enthusiasm as best as she could. The doctor set down his piece and next to Kokoro a strange paper with a half circle drawn on it. On one side of the circle was a symbol for calm and the opposite a symbol for being too much. The middle was in between but the doctor never mentioned being in the middle, he only focused on the extremes. Any time she was loud or expressed herself with enthusiasm the dial went to the far right, and if she was calm and held back her emotions it was the far left. The middle didn’t matter.

That’s right, the psychiatrist was essentially teaching Kokoro that being enthusiastic or showing emotion at all was inappropriate. Kokoro didn’t really get it, but she realized being on the opposite side was apparently a bad thing. She didn’t really care, the half circle amused her, when the psychiatrist moved it because she took it as a game.

Kokoro drew a card which landed her on one of the shortcut passes. “YAY IM WINNING!” She excitedly proclaimed, smiling a huge grin as her eyes lit up.

Takana-san gave her a stern look, “Kokoro you know better.” He pointed to the half circle chart. “You are over here,” he moved it to the far right, “you need to be over here.” He moved it back to the left side. “You will cause problems for others if you keep veering to the right side.”

In retrospect, why was the middle of the road never acceptable? Why did she either have to be too excited and happy or not excited and happy at all. Why did her being happy affect others negatively? It was all too confusing for her,

“But I’m winning, shouldn’t I be happy?” Kokoro tilted her head confused. Surely the best thing was to smile right?

“Yes, you can be happy, but you don’t need to express it in such a loud and excessive way,” Takana-san’s disapproval bore into her.

Kokoro slunk deeper into her chair, not understanding what she had done wrong. Why couldn’t she just be happy she was winning? Did it really bother everyone that she was so happy?

The game came and went, she got reprimanded a few more times for expressing her excitement as she won the board game. After the game the doctor brought her to the big wall by the front of the office and told her to click a little button. She didn’t know why, but anytime she pushed it a little toy or sticker would fall down a mini slide. It sort of resembled those experiments used on mice where the mouse pushes a button to get food. Kokoro didn’t care, the toys and stickers were cute and she was excited to get something new. She basically found joy in almost anything.

Takana-san spoke to the Suits, shaking his head as he muttered things Kokoro did not remotely understand. He pulled out a piece of paper and wrote some things down and handed it to the suits. That paper was the first of many she’d see. Her first prescription.

No one understood her or accepted her for who she was. They constantly wanted to change her.

The flashbacks would come and go; the memories were hazy and very painful. They’d hurt her to her very core and disappear as soon as they appeared. All she could remember was the headaches she felt after each episode.

****

Misaki got up from her seat and was shaking the blond, trying to get her to snap out of it. “Kokoro? Kokoro are you ok?” She looked at the golden haired girl with concern. This was happening more regularly. Kokoro would seemingly blank out and there was nothing she could do to help. She tried putting on Michelle but even that didn’t work. Misaki felt at a complete loss.

They had gotten closer over the course of time since the band formed. At first Misaki was mildly annoyed by the other girl’s exuberant behavior, but she grew to understand and accept that it was just how Kokoro was. In fact, she had grown to appreciate it. There was something about Kokoro, an almost blinding joy, that she brought to everyone she encountered. Never before had Misaki seen someone so bright, so brilliant. Someone who unwittingly had pushed past her own shell and made her accept there was more to herself than she had originally thought. That she herself could be something more than just a girl who loved moderation. She too could make others smile. And now Kokoro remembered her name.

Misaki pulled Kokoro into an awkward hug. No, she was not the touchy feely type, but maybe just maybe it could help snap Kokoro out of whatever was happening to her.

Kokoro shook her head as she felt arms wrap around her, snapping out of her trance-like state. When she saw she was in Misaki’s arms she blinked, confused. “Misaki?” she tilted her head.

Misaki stood back and looked at Kokoro, giving a sigh of relief.

Kokoro was very confused, she looked around then back at Misaki, “What happened? I have a huge headache and I feel sick to my stomach.”

Misaki looked uneasy, she knew Kokoro needed some help but she had no idea how. “You blanked out for a moment.”

Kokoro shook her head, ignoring what had just happened. “I know! Let’s go get some ice cream! We can buy the entire truck!” She jumped up from next to Misaki and ran towards the door.

Misaki sighed again to herself. She had grown to care greatly for the girl who dragged her into the band. Maybe possibly... no… was it? Could she possibly love her? Misaki shook her head pushing aside the thought as she stood up and followed Kokoro outside to the nearest park. Surely there they would find an ice cream truck.

Kokoro hummed happily to herself as she ate the Spongebob shaped ice cream. Misaki looked it at, it didn’t quite look like the advertised picture. One eye was slightly higher than the other which was now melding into his nose. Kokoro had bought everything in the truck and distributed it to everyone in the park and surrounding areas. Misaki looked up at the trees and slightly smiled as Kokoro kept humming to herself.

Yes, Kokoro was definitely a very special person. It’s a shame that she was treated most of her life as if she was only a nuisance, that no one could possibly love her for who she is.

Misaki had no idea just what lay below that happy exterior.

They stopped at a park bench and sat down, looking over the water of the lake. Kokoro had finished her ice cream and was smiling happily at the setting sun. Misaki pulled out her phone and was looking at her recent texts, not overly important, because despite having spent so much time with Kokoro in more recent months she still felt pretty awkward in the silence alone with her.

As the sun set Kokoro watched as the happy park goers started to leave. Misaki continued to try to avoid the awkward situation when she felt weight on her shoulder. She looked over and Kokoro had rested her head on it. Misaki felt her face grow warm as the blond girl smiled up at her. There was no way she would have allowed Kokoro to get away with this months ago; a definite sign of how close she had allowed Kokoro to get. Kokoro closed her eyes as the sun’s setting rays danced across her face, her bright smile making the surrounding area seemingly brighter.

Misakis heart skipped a beat looking down at the peaceful Kokoro.

 _No, absolutely not, not going to happen._ Misaki thought to herself. _I do not have feelings for this girl. She’s loud, and sometimes irritating and has so many issues I don’t even understand._ Her expression softened, _But she means well, has a good heart, and would do anything to make someone smile, even if it’s hard for her. She really is like the embodiment of the sun._ She sighed softly. _My life would have definitely been different if I had never met her._ Misaki nervously reached up and brushed away a few strands that had fallen onto Kokoro’s face, to which Kokoro responded with a smile.

Time felt like it passed slowly as the sun continued its descent bringing forth the night. Kokoro had dozed off resting against Misaki’s shoulder as Misaki’s mind raced with a million thoughts a second. Realizing the time, Misaki nudged Kokoro softly. “Kokoro, we should get home before it gets dark.”

Kokoro opened her eyes and yawned, “Aww…” She looked around, the park was nearly empty. She jumped up from the bench and put an arm up, the other behind it, stretching. “Lets go play games at home!” She beamed down at Misaki. “You could stay over!”

Misaki paused for a moment, a little unsure. “Well, I suppose I could stay and finish writing the song...” her words drifted off as she thought about it.

“YAY!” Kokoro jumped up excitedly, bouncing every which way.

Just where did she get that energy?

Misaki stood up and grabbed Kokoro’s wrist. “Okay, okay, let’s go, it’s getting dark fast.” She pulled Kokoro in the direction of her house, then let go of Kokoro’s wrist.

Kokoro nodded excitedly and walked beside her, once again humming. Should Misaki have brought her voice recorder with her? These hums could be used for future songs. Kokoro however, didn’t seem overly fussed that her musings were not being recorded at that moment. She skipped along happily next to Misaki as they neared the giant mansion that Kokoro resided.

It was awe inspiring every time she saw it. A huge mansion bigger than anything Misaki had ever seen. The sheer amount of opulence was excessive, but Kokoro never let it go to her head. In fact Kokoro was more inclined to share her wealth with everyone else. Misaki wasn’t sure if Kokoro understood entirely what having that sort of wealth entailed. It was either that or Kokoro just didn’t care.

They settled back inside the mansion, Misaki had called her parents to let her know that she would be staying over at the Tsurumaki residence. Mysteriously a bag with her pajamas and supplies had appeared briefly after the call. Just what exactly were the Suits?

Misaki had gone back to finalizing the song. It was so close to being finished it seemed like a waste to continue delaying it. Kokoro had pulled out her Karaoke machine and was singing at the top of her lungs. It was horribly distracting when Misaki was trying to work another tune in her mind. She was used to it, Kokoro barely ever kept still but she had gotten used to her almost ever moving presence. In fact, things didn’t feel quite right unless Kokoro was excited over something. As Misaki wrote the last parts of the song she nodded to herself. This would work. She looked up at Kokoro she was now coloring with crayons on a new paper.

Misaki walked over and looked over Kokoro’s shoulder. On the page were bright pink colored zebras that appeared to be dancing with a bright green giraffe. Definitely a very Kokoro picture. “Another song idea?” Misaki casually asked, knowing full well she would be the one translating this drawing into lyrics.

Kokoro nodded as she drew a mustache on the giraffe. “Yes!” She started humming the tune she had been humming practically the entire day.

Misaki quietly pulled out her voice recorder and pressed record. It was a good thing Kokoro had kept humming this same song. It appeared this would be a more electronic sounding song, should be interesting.

After she took note of the hums and drawing, Misaki went to look in the nearby game closet. She pulled out a dusty board game that looked like it hadn’t been touched for years. Kokoro was dancing around the table having the time of her life.

“Hey Kokoro, how about we play a board game?” Misaki asked as she brought the game she had pulled out into the light. It was Candy Land; she figured Kokoro would get a kick out of playing a game based on sweets.

Kokoro stopped dancing as her eyes fell on the game. For a minute she was oddly quiet, her eyes once again losing that glimmer she always had. Kokoro shook her head slowly and looked sad for a moment, “No... I do not want to play Candy Land. I’m too much when I play Candy Land.” Her voice was flat and lacked her usual enthusiastic tone.

Misaki knew immediately something wasn’t right. She hid the game back in the closet and ran over to Kokoro, who appeared to be teetering over for a minute. “Kokoro?” She caught Kokoro as she lost her balance. “Kokoro it’s okay, we don’t have to play that game, we can do whatever you want! You’re not too much. Wait, who told you you’re too much?”

Kokoro snapped out of it, looking up at Misaki, “Misaki, why do you look like you’re feeling sick?”

Misaki saw Kokoro was back to her normal self and stood back up. There was definitely something going on below Kokoro’s happy demeanor, something she did not quite understand. “Kokoro, let’s go play some video games.”

Kokoro bounced back up, “YES! Let’s go play Mario Kart!” She bounded over to her giant TV with the Nintendo Switch hooked up and started the game.

They spent the next few hours playing Mario Kart, Misaki thinking to herself.

After they went to bed, Misaki lay awake that night, thinking to herself about what had been occurring. It was happening more and more frequently, or maybe she was just noticing it more because she was spending more and more time with Kokoro. _Just what happened to her, why does she suddenly have these moments where she blanks out and doesn’t remember?_ Misaki closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep.

Whatever the reason, Misaki cared about Kokoro. She was not sure just how much she cared, but she knew she had to do something. Misaki had to help Kokoro somehow, she did not like seeing her bright shining friend suffering. Not after how much Kokoro had helped change her life.

Maybe it was her turn to help change Kokoro’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally have PTSD and deal at times with parts of my memories missing due to my childhood. It's never right to make a child feel like the themes in this story. What happened to me and other children in a similar position is not ok. Love is about accepting someone for who they are, not drugging them in hopes you have a calm complacent robot to do your bidding for you. That’s not the reason you have a child.
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading this! I guess I'm continuing now, I don't know how long this was going to be but I have a general idea on the direction it's going to go.
> 
> Beta read by Elcall


	3. A Passing Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokoro and Misaki spend the day at the Tsurumaki mansion while Misaki works on the new Hello Happy World song.

Misaki pried her sleep-heavy eyes open as she heard loud sounds coming from down the hall. She groaned as she tried to push herself to lucidity; mornings were never easy for her. The light was pouring into the room dancing across her face. Misaki groaned as she forced herself to sit up, the futon she had been laying on felt less than ideal and certainly far less comfortable than her own bed. Kokoro had insisted that she share her bed but Misaki felt that would have been too awkward and uncomfortable. She glanced over at the ornate four-poster bed, it definitely would have been far more comfortable as far as the mattress goes.

She stood up from the futon and walked towards the window, still fully aware of the noises coming from down the hall. She looked out the window at the beautiful garden that surrounded the mansion. Bright spans of trees, even types she did not recognize graced the scenery. In the middle was a very large very impressive white fountain. Misaki took in the beautiful scenery, admiring every flower, every bird that was before her. It was beautiful. She looked forward to seeing once again how it would look next month in the fall.

It really appeared that Kokoro led the perfect sort of life in this excessively large and beautiful residence.

At that thought Misaki frowned to herself. Clearly in this case looks were deceiving, something was just not right here.

She sleepily made her way outside of Kokoro's ornate room down out into the hallway. Misaki dragged herself towards the sounds before recognizing they were from the Nintendo Switch. Kokoro was playing a dancing game jumping up and down and waving the controllers. How in the world did she have that much energy so early in the morning? Misaki sighed to herself as she closed the door behind her. As the door clicked shut Kokoro finally noticed her entrance.

"MISAKI!" 

Her loud voice pierced through Misaki's ears as Kokoro dropped the console controllers and bounded towards her. Misaki braced herself, as Kokoro was always unpredictable, only to have Kokoro stop right in front of her.

"Come play this amazing dance game with me, it's so much fun!" Kokoro looked up to her, her eyes glittering with anticipation.

"No thanks, it's way too early in the morning." Misaki pushed past her and sat in a chair near where Kokoro had been dancing.

Kokoro blinked, her mind hazing over one brief second before she caught herself and bounced back to the TV. "You don't know what you're missing!" She exclaimed excitedly as got back into her spot in front of the TV. But when she reached there she paused.

*****

_ No one ever wants to play with me. _

Kokoro was thrown back into a past memory. She had wandered from the center of the playground the suits took her to. The other kids had formed a circle and were playing some sort of strange game she had never seen before. Kokoro approached and greeted the other kids enthusiastically

"Hello everyone! I wanna play!" Her eyes were ever shining with excitement.

The other kids looked at her for a moment.

"You're weird, go away" One kid spoke up, a short little boy with dark hair.

The rest of the children nodded in agreement with murmurs of "Go away". They clearly already had their solid friend group.

Kokoro’s smile didn’t leave her face as she watched them play, maybe worrying if she did lose it it would mean that they had taken it away from her. It is fine, I’ll find fun things to do on my own.

After all, she was used to it.

***********

Kokoro shook her head, snapping herself out of her dizzy trance.

_ That’s odd, I wonder if Kokoro’s having a problem choosing the next song. _ Misaki thought to herself as she looked over at Kokoro curiously, since she had been turned towards the TV she had not seen her blank expression. The flashback had ended almost as quickly as it had started.

"YAY game start!" Kokoro yelled after choosing a song. She always went with the happiest and peppiest of songs. It was definitely very Kokoro of her. 

_ Ugh, why is staying awake so difficult?  _ Misaki tried to not nod off back to sleep as she watched Kokoro play. The game looked fun, but it was not her sort of thing, it would be too embarrassing. The last thing she wanted was to make a fool of herself, more than she already did at any rate. She at least felt more comfortable letting herself dance around when she was in the Michelle suit, but without it? She'd prefer to just sit back and watch. But there was just something so endearing watching Kokoro play. A simple game and she found so much joy in playing it. It almost made her want to join in. Almost.

As Kokoro bounced around singing with the music Misaki's mind drifted on how Kokoro kept fading out the day before. Today Kokoro seemed to be her normal happy self, no sign of the troubling visage Misaki was concerned over. 

Maybe it was an off day? She thought to herself, as Kokoro’s song ended and she looked through the list to select a new song. Misaki grabbed the notebook she had been writing in and folded the cover back, carefully eyeing the song lyrics she had penned. They weren't up to her own standards yet, but she had a little time until their next practice tomorrow. She scribbled down some notes to herself when her attention was pulled away by Kokoro, now looming over where she seated.

"Misaaaaki!" Kokoro looked down at her excitedly. 

_ Oh no _ . Misaki thought to herself.  _ This can't be good _ . 

Kokoro grabbed Misaki’s hand and tried to pull her up. “Come on Misaki, come play with me!” She yanked harder as Misaki tried to protest.

Misaki had tried to protest but realized it was no avail. If Kokoro wanted her to dance with her she knew she was going to have to dance. She sighed to herself as she relaxed, allowing herself to be pulled off the chair by Kokoro.  _ How bad could it possibly be? _ __

Kokoro excitedly handed Misaki two game controllers as Misaki stood in front of the TV to her right. Kokoro picked up her controllers and startled shuffling through the songs.

“What song should we play?” Kokoro shuffled through the songs at such a quick pace it was to tell what each individual song actually was.

“Kokoro you’re going too fast-“ Misaki got caught off as Kokoro stopped abruptly on a song.

A fast paced bubbly song, as to be expected of Kokoro.

Misaki braced herself, gripping the controllers in her hands.  _ Well I have no idea what I’m doing but it doesn’t seem too difficult.  _ She attempted to clear her mind as the notes started to move across the screen. She moved the controllers and attempted to keep up with Kokoro.  _ Did she have to pick such a fast song?? _ She concentrated as she allowed her guard and insecurities with herself to briefly go down as she allowed the music to overtake her. For a moment it didn’t matter if she was hitting all the notes, for this moment alone she was having actual fun.

Spending time with Kokoro was fun.

As the song ended Kokoro stole a glance at Misaki and a huge smile spread across her face.  _ She looks so happy! _ Immediately Kokoro turned her attention back to the game, selecting another song before Misaki could try to claim she was too tired.  _ It may be early, but this game will definitely wake her up! _ She selected yet another happy bubbly song and started dancing next to Misaki once again.

Kokoro kept selecting more songs to keep the game going.

Misaki hated to admit it to herself, but she was having a lot of fun. Being Michelle had helped her stamina so she found herself not getting tired as quickly as she would have before. Before the band she would have already started being tired from even the first song. Going with the flow had worked for her and she was convinced that living in moderation was the best possible way for her to live. She looked over at Kokoro who was jumping with sheer joy as the music played. It didn’t matter if Misaki was missing the notes, for now she was captivated by Kokoro’s unrelenting movements. No matter the level the song nor the speed, Kokoro just kept going. A little ball of sunshine that glittered even over the silliest of actions.  _ So intense yet so beautiful _ …s _ he really is something else.. _

_ Stop it.  _ Misaki caught herself as she found herself starting to smile towards Kokoro, her face flushing at what had been going through her mind. She shook her head and refocused on the song, she knew she would have to sort out her intrusive thoughts later.  _ Never going to happen, so that better leave my mind. _

_ Besides, why would someone like her want a nobody like me? _ __

The song ended and Kokoro finally set down her Switch controllers. She had not noticed Misaki’s brief pause during the last song, having been engrossed in the moment. She walked over and looked at Misaki with her glowing focused gaze.

“What should we do now Misaki?” She asked enthusiastically.

Misaki had just sat back in the chair Kokoro had pried her from behind. She sighed to herself, having just picked up the song notebook again. “I had hoped to finish working on this song for practice tomorrow.”

She pondered over all her schoolwork she needed to also complete. Her grades were still holding strong enough for her parents and teachers to not bother her, but she wasn’t sure how long they could stay that way if she never got time to finish her work. She still had hopes to go to at least a somewhat decent college.

Kokoro bounced around Misaki while she sat in the chair. “Then finish that and we can go outside and make some people smile!”

Misaki nodded, knowing that she didn’t have much of a choice in the matter anyway. Not that she’d complain, Kokoro made everything fun. It wasn’t Kokoro’s fault she was a distant person who resisted doing anything outside her comfort zone. Little by little though, that was starting to change.

“How about this, you go play another game for a little while and I’ll finish this song. Then we can go and do whatever you want.” Misaki paused as she realized what she just said.  _ Ooooh I’m going to be paying for that later I just know it. _

Kokoro nodded “Ok Misaki!” She went back to the Nintendo Switched and turned on Animal Crossing.

Misaki smiled to herself  _ Well that should keep her entertained for a bit. _ She looked down at the lyrics.  _ Something is missing.. the song is fine, but it’s missing that spark I feel whenever I look at Kokoro’s scribbles. _ Her mind drifted off as she attempted to find the missing piece.

She put down the papers and against her best judgement spoke up “Kokoro let’s go out now.”

Kokoro perked up from her game, she set it to save then jumped up. “Ok Misaki!, Let’s get going!” She bounced up and past Misaki.

Misaki rolled her eyes.  _ Yup, definitely going to regret this. _ She picked up her jacket and put it on, following Kokoro outside.

She really hoped something outside would spark what was missing from the song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very slow at writing, however I did actually write this months ago and entirely forgot to post it lol. This was a less sad chapter thats supposed to be lighter than the next one..now to write that one...
> 
> Beta Read by Naha and Trasonic


End file.
